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Archive {15}

 

Like this : ... autopilot entertainment ... Ξ ...

where's my kiss ??... ^^ ... just a little one maybe !? ^^

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photo

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Immer gerade aus : ... autopilot entertainment ... Ξ ...

u go left... 2 clicks straight... left again... straight and then! right... ok!? ... than ur lost ^^

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Uhhhh... Andreas Vollenweider : ... autopilot entertainment ... Ξ ...

pling plong ^^ ... he'd make a great doorbell ! ^^ ... bit long maybe ^^

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Mark Knopfler : ... autopilot entertainment ... Ξ ...

Perruhguaaaihiiiiiiiiiii ! ^^ ... my dad'su big fan ^^

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The Romantics : ... living the dream ... Ξ ...

not with earplugs !!! ^^ ... works great ! ^^ ... gimmi a.. capuccino ! ^^

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Donald Fagen: ... autopilot entertainment ... Ξ ...

science fiction ! ^^

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Carnival ... autopilot entertainment ... Ξ ...

let's try another cappucino... ^^ ... Imun optimist ^^

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Knowledge update 1: ... internet and searchengines...

Dear you, you and you !

This will help ya ... I have found my own unique way to explain internet that I'd like you to have... call me a nice guy ^^ ... It makes it all better to understand of what is coming up. I use simple and funny examples to make it more appealing to the mind. Here we go...

fishing floats

Internet is said to be a "cloud"... "the internet-cloud" or... "information cloud" ... huhuuuu
I like to change that into... a fishing-lake ! ^^ with; annoyed fish, floats, fishermen, lepricons, rods, calculators, boardwalks and hot chicks... is this funny or wot !? ^^

Imagine... a fishing-lake {internet} ... around the lake you have numerous lepricons {internet companies} ... in tha left hand they hold a magic fishing-rod {internet connection} and in the right a special calculator. On his lap he has a big book that says "index" ...

The fishing rod is connected to millions of fishing-floats {websites} ... one part of the lake has bushes... behind the bushes are the owners of the floats (websites) ... you can see their fishingline (domainname} ... website-owners pull out or throw in their floats {websites} to catch fish {searchbot} ...

Fish are catched with hooks {keywords} that are attached under the float... du-huuh... but these are fishfriendly hooks... okay okay... don't hurt fish... it is an example... for cryin out loud !! ^^ ... ur right... ... anyway... the fish is released from the hook after 1 second... in that time the fish looks up at the at the bottom of the float and sees all kinds of information (code and text} ...

The float itself has: a name {domainname} ... the owners address {IP address} ... description {metatags} ... the fish also looks at the other hooks {keywords} and connections to other websites {crossed fishinglines} .... is than released and swims {crawl} back (rather annoyed maybe !? ^^) to his boss; the lepricon.

So the fish says... slightly irritated... who had cought him, how many fishhooks there where, how many lines where crossed, what it said on the float, who the owner is and that he likes to have a break for a change ! ^^ The lepricon points the fish to the legally binding agreement that says... ah... that's all detail... ^^

So... bye bye fishi... the lepricon grabs his calculator (homemade searchengine software) and calculates all that was given according to a very very very secret formula .... ssssssh! don't say a word ! ^^ ... ow this is sooo exiting ! ^^ ... and than... the calculator says how good the website is (like a schoolreport).

The process of the fish telling the lepricon and the calculator thing is called: indexing...
The lepricon writes his results in his "index" book and than attaches a fishingline to the float. The float is basically "connected" to the owner and to several lepricons (searchengines)...

The thickness of the fishingline that he uses is different for each float. Better floats get thicker lines and therefor doesn't snap very fast... Okay Okay ! ... now let's see what happenes when a cute blonde is searching for ummm... uhhhh... hmmm... uhhhh... my... uhhh... yeah... boys ! or carpet-cleaner, bakingsoda, floor-mops !? ^^ ... nah... boys ! (let them find that aye !? ^^) ... ow... sorry boys ^^ ( I'm just helping the girls to find ya !! ^^) ... anyway...

A cute blond girl, 19 springs old ... sigh... full of life... hahhh... running towards me with open arms... scratch - uh... is looking for a boy... so she walks up to the lepricon named... uhhh... Bladibla! ... and asks (typing) if he can find some "boys"... The lepricon looks at the girl and looks at her pink pointy t-shirt where it says her IP-address ^^ ... he than asks her how many floats {websites} she'd like to have maximum... standard is 10 results... 10 is fine... so... go ahead... and make her happy !!

Now... the lepricon pulls his magic rod... ladies plz !... pay attention... ^^ ... and pulls at thousands of fishlines (isn't this exiting !) .... the thin lines keep snapping untill 10 results are left dangling on the rod... 10 searchresults for boys... {at the moment: 368.000.000 fishlines for "boys". This is basically how a searchengine works... but there is more to understand...

Each day new owners throw in and pull out floats so sometimes the lepricon does not update in time; you than catch an empty float {website} and you get an error message... the lake is getting bigger and bigger and automatically extends after a float is thrown in... each year the lake grows 1,5 times it's total size... a mr. Moore figured this out so this is called Moore's law.

Unfortunately there are also floats that you wouldn't like your children to see... The lepricon tries it's best to filter correctly (nevertheless automated) ... the owners of the bad floats basically attach fishhooks that shouldn't be there... finding an effective way to catch fish is called search engine optimalization {seo}.

There are not only lepricons... ow nowww !! ^^ ... there are also boardswalks that extend into the lake... on this boardwalk u'll find float-factories {online marketplaces} ... they produce small floats (payment or free) and release them into the water within their bassin. All that the user has to do is attach personalized fishhooks.... The factory-bassin {database} is part of the internet lake... they seperate them and keep them in groups (categorized) ... therefor... if you leave an advertisement long enough in the water (at the factory) than soon enough the fish and thus the lepricon thus the blond will find the float aswell... this leads to personal advertisements in searchresults. It takes a while for the fish to find a new float... These factories have easy names so that the user can easily come over themselves (no lepricon) and search within the bassin of the factory...

One particular lepricon got smart and said to the owners of the float; ... lissen... I have some people that want to advertize on your website... why don't you leave a little space on your webpage empty and available for me... I will fill that empty space on your float so we can all make money ! ... and so you find many Ads by Bladibla on many websites... each time a person clicks on it than the user gets a % and so does of course our friends at Bladibla.

There are lepricons with lazy fish; that have fish working that only look in the idex book of other lepricons... isn't that smart ! ^^ ... basically you get a top 10 of a lot of top 10's ^^ ....

This whole story is in real life operated by software... software is text (like this) that tells computerhardware what to do and where to go. This text is digital... this mean that the text that I type now... will not crumble, melt, decay, get rusty, dirty, wet, old... boo-hoo ^^ ... it doesn't eat food... it doesnt cost a thing... other than having to type it in (only once) ... The software operates (runs) on hardware (computer). This also does not cost much... they never get sick and work 24/7... if one fails than the other takes over... So... no costs... 24/7 ... big business ! ...

The problems are the fake floats... the encreasing size of the lake (and bad floats) ... and the fact that you have to ask {type} again and again untill you find what you want... you have to go back each time; instead of browsing; clicking through maps... Ya also must be good in the English language since most websites and searchresults are in English.Poor countries have a hard time making proper boardwalks and float factories and are therefor basically left out. Another problem is that you need to have an internet connection to get to the lepricon... ask that to the people in Eqypt...

In the next knowledge-update... earliest convenience... I will add some more interesting details and lateron explain how a computer works on the inside {by comparison} ... easy and understandable; like your own house... ull love it ! ^^

Can I geddah oe-oeh .. can I geddah oe-oeh !?! ^^

Amsterdam, The Netherlands 2008
created by: Eddy
written on: 4 februari 2008
.. use it wize ..

fishing floats

today we had our first 1.000th visitor ! it's getting bizzyyyy ! ... ya'll want coffee !?? ^^

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Simple Minds ... count down ... Ξ ...

all along tha whaaaaay ^^ ... how big is Bill's boat !?... just a question ^^

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Neil uhhh ... I like lullabies ... Ξ ...

I think I found my button !! ^^ ... "don't press this button" ... huh !? ^^

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Keziah Jones : ... important announcement = on hold = ... Ξ ...

heyeyoeoeoeoe ! ^^

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Lenny : ... I'mah relaxtisized autopilot ... Ξ ... please keep me that way ... Ξ ...

leeeeeeeeeeeeeeet loooooooooooooooove ruuuuuuule ! ^^ yehyehyehyehyehyehyeh

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Eddy: Dutch webdesigner helping us to beam back our stranded Captain ... Ξ ...

Eddy

I like this pic... I'll always be 39,853663 on this one ^^ even after a billion years ! ^^

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Tosca : ... important announcement coming up ... Ξ ...

merry christmas ! ... ^^

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Me'Shell Ndegeocello : ... autopilot entertainment ... Ξ ...

slapperdepap ! ^^

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About the Force : ... just use it ... Ξ ... and be cool about it ... Ξ ...

not a Jedi yet ! ^^ but it's getting close ! ^^

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Sky diving : ... gravity is fun ... Ξ ... it makes u drop down ... Ξ ...

let's get some air ! ^^

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Archive {15}

WELCOME

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